Memento Mori
It has been exactly one year since the end of Unus Annus, and it has been quite the year. It is fitting in a way that it falls on a day that I would normally sit down to write my post. It hasn’t quite been a year for me yet but this has caused me to look back and reflect. It has been twelve months since I first had the idea to create this blog. It didn’t become exactly what I wanted it to be but I think it became exactly what I needed it to be. It has been three hundred and sixty five days since I made the commitment to myself that I was going to change the way I live my life. I think it is time I take a moment to reflect on the time that has passed and what I have been able to make of this year.
It has been a rough couple of weeks for me, and I am doing my best to claw myself out of the hole I found myself in. I suddenly found myself just not wanting to do anything. I would sit down at my computer and none of my games sounded fun. The thought of starting another project around the house just felt overwhelming and I just shut down. I have started getting out of it by just forcing myself to start things and I think that is helping.
I bring this up because originally this post was going to be very negative. When I first realized that it has been a year since the end of Unus Annus my first thought was, “Holy shit, I have managed to waste another year of my life. I haven’t done anything I set out to do.” I was just so defeated and I think that is partially because of the mood that I have been in. But the more I sat and really thought about it, I decided I needed to be more positive. Constantly putting myself down isn’t going to get me anywhere; I need to be proud of the things I have done so far. If I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to, that just means next year I need to buckle down and try even harder.
It is very easy to get into a negative thought pattern and begin to convince yourself that certain things are true. This year alone I started a podcast with my friends, picked up a new hobby in mini painting, started this blog, installed a fence, started hiking again, tried all kinds of new recipes, and started a business. Just in the act of writing this down I realize this is the first time I am allowing myself to be proud of the things I have done. It has made me realize that I really did get a decent amount done this year. I had been so preoccupied focusing on the disappointment that I didn’t do more, that I ignored all the things that I was able to accomplish.
This year is just about over, and it has been one hell of a year. I am going to make sure I finish it off strong. When I started this post, I was considering ending it with the announcement that I would be stopping the project. I think in the process of writing this post I have been able to remind myself why I have started it in the first place. I will probably do a real one year recap in April but I wanted to take a moment with the anniversary of Unus Annus to do some self reflection.
Memento Mori.
